Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Back to basics


There's been a lot of drama going on in the gyaru community and in light of the recent events, I've started contemplating my actions, my goals and my expectations. I've been contemplating this for a long time now, at least 2 months, it doesn't sound like a long time but it is considering I NEVER ONCE thought about how my style (or lack thereof) or my makeup should be, in the eyes of other fellow gals.

I feel I've let my own integrity and self-respect suffer, on behalf of what others have expected from me. I can't do that anymore. I started out doing this FOR me, not in despite of me.

When I started looking for a community to flourish and cherish, my expectations were that the people in them were supporting, happily ready to share their interest and expertise. I thought they were genuine and a lot like me, a social outcast with a kind heart, wishing to find friends to “dress up” and have fun with. Though many are, there’s unfortunately more bad seeds than good, and too many bad seeds ruin a crop.

There is too many curtains being lifted, shedding light on the ugliness behind.
Too many who get their dreams and aspirations crushed beneath a selective few dominant ego’s.
And too many who search for happiness and acceptance only to find rejection and depression.

I see everything.

I was aware of the fact that a superficial lifestyle/fashion style would involve superficial and conceited people, but not such a high amount of them.

The words “you’re pretty” or generally words praising my looks are words I seldom heard outside of gal make. Though friends and my boyfriend tell me I am, I refuse to accept those words. Maybe because I am afraid hearing it too often will eventually make me conceited. There’s nothing wrong with my self-confidence, I’ve been raised to be judged by actions and character and not rely on my looks as that will perish with time.

When I was introduced to the groups I was eager to learn from everyone else in my groups, posting pictures to get feedback. Though I did get(and much appreciated) feedback I felt I started to change. I wanted acceptance.

“please, senpai notice me”- syndrome

That has never been in my nature.
It goes against everything I am, and still hope I can find my way back to.
I need to go about this my own way now. I need to do what I feel is right.
It’s time for me to go back to basics.

I will continue the blog ofc, not everything will be of taste for everyone but a quick push of [X] will lead you away from it and you are welcome to do so.
For the future I will be reviewing Vassen Latte Pink, Vassen/I.fairy Kirei Green and Princess Pinky Twilight Blue.

~ Stay tuned ~

10 comments:

  1. This is true. Often I feel this as well :)

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    Check out my blog too: heylinni.blogspot.com
    Fashion, hauls, ulzzang, tutorials, reviews <3
    please help me grow my blog by pressing the follow button! I will gladly follow you back :) THANKS xx

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    1. Thank you for reading,I'm always surprised when someone I don't know finds my blog. I don't really broadcast it:P I really appreciate it though <3 Sure I can follow ^^

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  2. I like you your determination, yes you should continue to blog no matter what happens!! No point following a trend to please others, better just do what you want for yourself. Don't give up!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    恵美より ♥
    http://emi-doll.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. Wow I didn't think I was on your radar Emi,thank you ^^ I read your blog from time to time,but I don't think I've followed you yet. I'll do so now ^^ I have an abundance of determination,especially when it comes to my own well being. Giving up is not an option and has never been an option ^^ Thank you for stopping by and reading a newbie blogger gals blog,it's greatly appreciated <3

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  3. In the end people look in the heart. Some people may look pretty on the outside but what really matters is how they act.
    "looks perish with time" I really like that :)
    thank you for this post! looking forward to reading more so i'm following!
    hope you stop by my blog ^-^
    -jill
    lipstixtraces.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment,it's highly appreciated ^^ Actions speak louder than words indeed. It's always nice to see a new follower who reads my blog so thank you very much for that too.
      I'll check your blog out too :)

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  4. I love your style and your blog, you are very beautiful, congratulations and kisses from Spain.

    This is my blog: http://redecoratelg.blogspot.com.es/

    Follow me and I follow back?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading and commenting I appreciate that ^^ I'll check it out :)

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  5. just saw this post. very true. I feel like that quite often in the gal comm, no matter which group I come across. it's now gotten to the point where I feel like it's more a select group of people than an actual group amongst the comm, which I feel doesn't really speak too well for the comm as a whole. I've been feeling that way with my recent posts, even despite people telling me it was fine and it was just more the other gals preference. it's actually getting to be too much bs within the comm, I'm thinking of leaving the western comm entirely again and forreal this time with everything going on :/

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    1. I was considering that too,but I decided I will stay. Not because I feel I need to or "who will then read my blog??" but because,even if there is some elitism going on,or even just bizarre and repulsive behaviour at times from certain people,there are some really interesting and like minded people among the gal crowd. Instead of searching for those individuals,I rather keep a certain distance between some im unsure will be looking out for my good benefit. If you feel that things are eating you up on the inside,then I think its better that you voice those feelings,because leaving will give you time to breathe,but it wont disappear :/ I've also had to remind myself that others people opinions are OTHER peoples opinion. Not my own,and all in all my own opinion when it comes to how I do things,are the one that matters most. Even if many will say "that is not ___ " and "I think ___ isnt good enough" as long as you're satisfied and happy,who cares? You are doing it for yourself remember? ^^ reassure yourself,trust yourself and be happy with yourself <3 I don't want you to leave,but if that is what you need to do then I support that ^^

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